I had a revelation in my medication induced sleep last night:
My purpose/suffering is to filter hate and violence that consumes me and exhale philanthropy and love. Even at the expense of my soul and sanity. Self destruction for the greater good.
If there is one thing that I have learned true in life it is; never fear the tallest, strongest, smartest or most fearsome of men, never fear the man that always speaks of violence. Yet fear, fear with all your soul and preserve your family from the man who has no value of his own life. For a man that doesn't value himself doesn't value the consequences of death; his, yours or the ones you love and will take pleasure in seeing the world burn if he can not fix it.